Authors, Explore Stories and Context: Open-Ended Questions
5 of 28 big ideas from the world of coaching to grow your author business
The fifth in a 28-part series on 28 big ideas from coaching for authors to coach themselves, adapted from my book, The Coach Within.
“A story is open-ended. A story invites you into it to make your on meaning.”
— Katherine Paterson
“Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light.”
— Theodore Roethke
Asking powerful, relevant, open-ended questions in service of the client and her agenda may be one of the most important skills a coach can cultivate, which means it is not to be underestimated for use on ourselves!
Why?
Because I said so.
Oh, is that right?
Yes.
Ask why? and you get a “because,” a reason (perhaps an accurate one, maybe not), and often a defensive posture and a defensive response.
Ask with is? or a fact-based question and you likely get a yes, no, or a fact (maybe accurate, maybe not) for an answer.
Ask an open-ended question and you get stories, exploration, context, background, musings, release, work. The best open-ended questions for coaching are direct, relevant, and timely. They probe deeply, make an impact, offer perspective, and provide an opportunity for a reveal.
See what happens when you ask with who, what, when, where, and how in a manner that’s not about a fixed answer (yes, no, or facts for facts’ sake):
· Who are the kinds of people and organizations I like working with?
· What made that such an awkward moment for me?
· When will I be able to get over this bad review?
· Where can I take my idea next?
· How will I talk to bookstores and other retailers in the future to avoid clumsy conversations like the one I had today?
Open-ended questions are a fixture for coaches and using them on yourself — especially instead of the unproductive self-blaming, shaming, trash questions we sometimes punish and limit ourselves with — will open up your awareness, thinking, and options.
Their use encourages us to open up to ourselves, to vent, to uncover things hidden, and to get to the heart of the matter.
· What am I running from here?
· What makes me so angry about that?
· How did I want that meeting to go?
Their use shows respect for and trust in yourself: You don’t need an immediate solution or to pretend to know it all. Delve within in a non-threatening manner and be attentive to the answers that surface when you’re exploring. The truth can emerge more readily and you just may be quite comfortable with it.
· When will I know it’s time to change my approach?
· Where can I take my very part-time author business from here?
· Who do I want to be as the owner of an author business?
Their use fosters future-oriented, solutions-oriented, holistic, and restorative ways of thinking.
· What can I do to feel better?
· How can I properly enjoy reaching this latest milestone?
· What is my vision of the ideal author life?
Coaching Yourself in Action
⎕ Silent Stillness or Walking: Start a meditation session or a walk today by asking yourself a powerful open-ended question. See where your mind goes from there. After the initial probe and reveal, try another one. And then another.
⎕ Practice: Every time you feel stumped, bummed, or unsure today, pause and ask yourself a powerful open-ended question. “Powerful” means that it’s direct and in service to your agenda of the moment. After the fact, consider the impact of that one question.
⎕ Bonus Practice: Challenge yourself to ask open-ended questions with colleagues and family, especially when you’re tempted to lead with “Why?” What effect did that have on the conversation? How did it alter the tone, content, vitality? Closed question: Did you notice that these were all open-ended questions?
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Chicago Area Event Coordinators - Updated Database for Those Doing Author Programs
Our team at Conspire Creative has recently spent 20+ hours creating an updated database for in-house purposes of Chicago-area event and program coordinators (at libraries, museums, historical societies, other organizations, senior centers, and more). This list of 280 (and growing) names includes organization, organization type, first/last name, and email addresses.
We are offering this resource to you for $28. If you do author events in the Chicago area and your research time is worth more than $1.40/hour (!!), this is for you. One paid event or one event with a handful of book sales will pay for this cost your first time out. Pay with PayPal, Venmo, or credit card here.