Authors, You’re Enough and Now Is Perfect: Right, Right Now
17 of 28 big ideas from the world of coaching to grow your author business
The seventeenth in a 28-part series on 28 big ideas from coaching for authors to coach themselves, adapted from my book, The Coach Within.“The possible’s slow fuse is lit by imagination.”
“My problem was not, not being good enough, my problem was thinking I had to be.”
— Unknown
“The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Some coaching tools are more obviously variations on themes and extensions of other ones. Consider responsibility (big idea 3) and accountability (big idea 9); being not doing (big idea 14) and being with oneself and not one’s problems (big idea 10).
Some tools are seemingly contradictory. Take for example big idea #16, idealizing, and this one: right, right now. Where idealizing is future-oriented, making yourself right, right now is present-oriented. It means there is “perfection” in your life right now, right where you’re at. You are enough and have enough — as is.
Hold on, you say, perhaps thinking some version of: I don’t have enough money, I’m way too cranky, my latest work in progress in crap, my Amazon sales are down, I haven’t had media coverage in too long…nothing is perfect! Here’s where I can insert a favorite re-frame: If it’s not right, right now, time to lower the bar. Yes — go on, I insist — lower your standards until you feel that you are all right, right now, and keep lowering it until you have the experience that you and your life are enough, even “perfect” in their own way.
Right, right now can be thought of as “idealizing” the present. But you’re not donning rose-colored glasses or contorting yourself for perfectionism. And you’re definitely not permanently reducing your standards or expectations. Instead, you’re finding fullness and worthiness where you’re at, acceptance and gratitude (a big idea to come) for what is, right now. Love what’s right now for a minute without thinking anything needs to be improved.
How can you make yourself right, right now? Get inventive. My favorite is removing or rescheduling most items from my to-do list, then doing the few items that remain at a leisurely pace (remember slowing it down, big idea 13?). Yay, I completed my to-do list. What a success. I feel great!
How about instead of: I’m a writer who never has a clean house, you deem yourself: I’m a writer who prioritizes my craft?
Instead of: I just messed up — 20 people unsubscribed after my last newsletter, you think: Great, I touched a nerve! The people who stayed on the list must appreciate who I am, how I think, and what I have to say.
Instead of: I should have $250,000 in my retirement account by now (oh, so imperfect), you re-assess as: Look at me, I have $45,000 in savings, I make my mortgage payments on time, and I no longer have the bad money habits of my youth. I’m on the right track and I’m a working author! (Now, this is a great place from which to idealize — big idea 16 — what’s next.)
You can be right, right now from any situation. Instead of: I’m an unhoused, underemployed writer and sleeping on my sister’s couch…wah! (read: my life is a disaster), perhaps this is actually your case: I’m so lucky to have a roof over my head and this unexpected time to spend with my sister and her family. I’ll be able to help them out while they help me out. I’ve been able to finish my latest book proposal since I’ve been here and an agent just requested a copy of the manuscript (appreciating all the present holds and taking responsibility — big idea 3 — for what comes next).
Coaching Yourself In Act
⎕ Choose up to ten areas of your author life and author business to assess in your journal (e.g., health, writing, editing, publishing options, marketing, sales, income, budget, relationships with agent/publisher/distributor/other, schedules and routines, free time and vacations, office organization, skills/learning, community, philanthropy, creativity). Begin by evaluating these areas for their current perfection. What is right about them, right now? If you can’t see it, lower your standards and ask again. Make yourself right in multiple areas of your life today!
⎕ Today, just enjoy how right you are and let the feeling permeate you and your day. At a future point, given that you’re perfect right where you’re at, you can revisit these notes. This time, ask yourself what your future ideal in each of these areas might be. Start thinking about how you can begin moving from current perfection to future perfection, keeping yourself right as you go..
Start your weekend with us!
Will you be in Chicago April 4? You’re invited.
Bring yourself, your author pals, and your most vexing book marketing and author income questions. Have a cookie and a glass of wine.
Thch Nhat Hanh's teachings applied to authors! Plus some self-talk improvement. Very helpful for a challenging enterprise like writing. Thanks!